Date ... Whate's the DATE ... (july) ... NO THE YEAR, WHAT YEAR IS IT!
2008 . . . only 2 years.
I've been gone 40 years but only 2 earth years have passed, bizarre.
Let me fill you in, I can see you're confused. It seems the Dread Cthulhu didn't take too kindly to my last little comment about Him/It being "cute".
He came for me . . ahh, the memory still makes me shudder. Sent Burrowers beneth the house to make a passage for Himself/Itself. After the shaking had stopped . . the first slime covered tentacle made its way up the stairs . . probing . . searching. I had a sudden flash of mad genius! I quickly grapped a bottle, place a fish finger and some human blood inside and glued a cork in the hole, ha brilliant.
Lets see if the overgrown octopus can resist that then! Sure enough, the tentacle paused, wrapped itself around the bottle, . . another 50 tentacles joined it, all testing and probing. Ha, I could almost feel His/It's mind ticking over, "... What's this before Me . . . an Offering? . . . ummm, fishfinger!! Love fishyfingerz . . ah, a puzzle . . . love puzzlezzz. Ummm . . how to get the fishy treat without removing cork or breaking glassz . . . ummmm???
OK, so it took Him/It all of 2 seconds before it smashed the bottle, took the morsel and rammed the jagged glass towards my skull with as much force as an angry God can, . . which is alot! Jezzuss, I mean you'd think a God who sits around for millenniua, would have a little patience wouldn't you???
Still, that 2 seconds was all I needed to escape.
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